Lay me down in Mendip's Pastures
Where nobody us can see
Gently tie my hands behind me
Andy let your passions free

Wank my penis, Wank my penis Wank me till I come no more
Wank my penis, Wank my penis Wank me till I come no more

When were down in Swildons cavern's
Where from sight we hidden be
I'll remove my wetsuit trousers
And I'll leave to rest to thee.

Shag my arsehole, Shag my arsehole Shag me till I want no more
Shag my arsehole, Shag my arsehole Shag me till I want no more

When at last we reach the Hunters
Tie me to the sign outside
There I'll hang in a drunken stupor
While you savagely tan my hide

Whip my buttocks, Whip my buttocks, Whip me till I want no more
Whip my buttocks, Whip my buttocks, Whip me till I want no more

When at last we go to bed
In the caving hut that night
Crawl into my sleeping bag
And then squeeze my bollocks tight

Squeeze my bollocks, Squeeze my bollocks Squeeze them till I scream no more
Squeeze my bollocks, Squeeze my bollocks Squeeze them till I scream no more